How appreciated, supported and respected do you feel?
If you could do with more of each, it’s time to start appreciating, supporting and respecting yourself more!
To give yourself more of what you need the easy way, follow these 5 simple steps…
Step One: Identify your Needs
Take a quiet moment with a notepad and pen and make a list all the things you need in your life. These are all the things that you don’t currently have or experience that would make your life better.
Now, you may find your list turns into a list of all the things you don’t want in your life, and that’s alright. If it happens, stop and ask yourself ‘What’s the opposite?’.
For example, less rushing around after others means more time to do what you want to do for yourself; or less arguments means more calm, harmonious conversations…
Remember, it’s important to recognise that if your need involves another person, that person’s needs must also be respected!
Step Two: Check In with Yourself
Look at your list and check in with your emotions. Here’s an example of what I mean by this.
Let’s imagine one of your needs is to have help with the housework. Ask yourself whether this is because you are too tired and have no time, or is there a feeling of resentment that your partner/spouse doesn’t offer to help? In that case, the underlying need is to discuss the housework schedule with your partner/spouse.
Step Three: Evaluate your Options
You have identified your needs, you’ve checked in with yourself about what’s really going on, now it’s time to evaluate your options.
There will be a number of possible ways to approach each of your needs.
Taking the example of getting the housework done, your options could be:
- Find someone reliable to come in once a week, twice a week, once a month…
- Discuss setting up a schedule with your partner/spouse
- A combination of both
Go through your list and identify as many options as you can for each of your needs.
Step Four: Make your Choice
You’ve identified your needs, checked in with yourself about what’s really going on and evaluated your options, now it’s time to choose the option you are going to implement for each of your needs.
At this stage, it’s good to also keep a backup option in place in case your first choice doesn’t work out.
For example, if the discussion you have with your partner/spouse about scheduling the household chores is a non-starter, your backup option of finding someone to come in and help is ready.
Step Five: Take Action
Everything is in place and it’s time to actually take action.
To make it easier, ‘chunk’ each action down into small steps that you can quickly achieve.
So, finding someone to do the housework might have the following steps:
- Call friends/family and ask if they can recommend anyone to you
- Ask at work/school/social groups
- Put up a notice locally
- Check out the local papers
- Put together a short list of potential candidates
- Set up times for interviews
- Hire the most wonderfully, efficient and reliable person ever!
Looking after your own needs by appreciating, supporting and respecting yourself is the first step to experiencing more appreciation, support and respect from others!